Be Your Own Cheerleader!
I’ve always been good at being everyone’s cheerleader, but I can really suck at being my own. I have some big ideas and dreams, but I have so much fear and doubt about actually pursuing it. Consciously I know what I’m capable of and maybe this is the part that scares me the most. I’ve become very aware that I have to stop criticizing, judging and being so hard on myself. And I’ve got to stop thinking and saying “there’s something wrong with me”. I put so much pressure on myself to do everything at once as quickly as possible that I end up completely stressing and wearing myself out. Talk about counter-productive and self-sabotaging! I know this is not healthy, yet I still have a hard time stopping this nonsense.
I also live in my head and drive myself crazy with a running to-do list. I think of all the things I want and need to do. But I keep putting off the higher priority things and do the “fun” stuff instead. If I really want to be an entrepreneur and leader I have to be willing to do it all. I know I can. I need to stop resisting, hesitating and doubting and just go for it! I’ve come this far, I won’t turn back now.
Now that I’m aware of all of this, what do I do about it? I continue to peel my layers and expose my wounds, then I forgive, let go and feel so I will be able to heal. I know there’s a lot out there about living in the now, we can’t move forward if we’re looking back. I agree with this, but I also believe in cause and effect. Meaning that each symptom/issue has a root cause; in other words something happened to cause you to feel, think or act a certain way. You can call me the why girl, “why can’t you quit smoking”, “why do you procrastinate”, “why do you have anxiety” and so on. I want to get to the root so I can stop the cycle we create that validates our belief system. For example if you believe you don’t deserve to be loved (whether you’re conscious of it or not) you will create or attract people and scenarios that confirm your belief.
Lately it’s very helpful to keep things in perspective and take an honest look at my attitude. Am I complaining and wishing things are different or am I focusing on what I can do to change the situation or my attitude? I also think of everything in my life that I’m grateful for and acknowledge all of the progress I’ve made so far. My mantra now is to be patient, positive and persistent in making my dreams a reality! Go me!
(via Be Your Own Cheerleader!)
11 Hints for Life
1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.
3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone – but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
8. Always put yourself in the others shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.
10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
~ Unknown Author ~
via 11 Hints for Life
My breakthrough moment happened over Labor Day weekend 2010. They say when you’re faced with a near death, or in my case near paralyzing experience, it will change you forever and show you what is really important in your life. Well it certainly did for me, it literally shook me and woke me up! I don’t want to take anything for granted anymore. And I am so blessed that I didn’t hurt myself worse than what I did that night.
I’m going to just cut to the chase, on the second night in Jamaica with my husband and two other couples I got drunk and dove into a 4’ swimming pool. I hit the top of my head hard, really hard. But nobody knew immediately how badly I hurt myself, including me, because it was dark out. And I have a really high tolerance for pain so I didn’t make a big deal out of what just happened.
However it all became very real when I walked in the Resort’s clinic and the nurse gave me a look of shear horror. She had to call the doctor from his residence to come in right away. The best way I can explain the rest of the night is an out of body experience. I had sobered up at this point, but I was in shock and numb to everything that was happening. Which was like something out of a scary movie. I sat in a chair wrapped in a towel of blood while the doctor cut the top of my hair so he could stitch me up. The nurse explained how lucky I was that I didn’t snap my neck and become paralyzed or worse. She was truly amazed that I didn’t even suffer from a concussion from a hit that hard. It was nothing short of a miracle that I didn’t hurt myself worse.
When I got to the hotel room I looked in the bathroom mirror and couldn’t believe what I just did to myself, yet I was so disconnected that I didn’t have much of a reaction. When I look back on this moment I see how profound it was. I just got in a major accident and it was as if nothing really happened. I was calm, cool and collected. No melt down, no feelings expressed, only a few tears and I quickly pulled myself together. That’s what I did, I was the person who “held it together” and smiled like everything was just fine.
When I got back from the trip I started seeing a LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor). The accident seemed to trigger overwhelming thoughts that I was a bad person and I deserved to get hurt. Consciously I knew that it was an accident, but I blamed myself and the negative self talk would not go away. I needed to get very honest with myself and start unraveling the layers and layers of protection I built up.
It was time to make some drastic changes and difficult decisions. And despite all of the guilt I felt, I had to put myself first so I could begin to heal. One of the hardest things I had to do was cut off all communication with my family (except my twin sister). I wasn’t strong enough to go through this process and continue to have a relationship with my family. I won’t go into all of the reasons, but I felt like I needed to do it for me.
It’s been almost a year and a half since the accident and I cannot believe how much I’ve changed. Actually it’s more like I’m letting the real me out and I’m no longer afraid to be seen and heard. I’m not trying to hide my “flaws” or fit into the mold of what I think I need to be for people to love and accept me. I love me and I love life!
(via The Accident)
I’ve decided to make my blog a community blog. I don’t want it to just be about me. My hope is to encourage you to speak out, share your story, journey, poetry, challenges or successes. Lets support and inspire each other to express, celebrate and love our authentic self!
To make a submission please email me. You may be anonymous or include an introduction and picture of yourself. Include as much or little about yourself as you are comfortable with. I will post your submission to my site, Facebook page and newsletter. I look forward to hearing from you!
Here’s a quote to inspire you to put yourself out there.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson
I dream of going away
Left alone with no responsibilities
No reality, just my own fantasy
Eating cookies, cereal and grilled cheese
No guilt, shame or criticizing
Listening to my favorite songs
Dancing with nothing on my mind
No hesitation or regrets
Just me doing whatever I want!
Not giving a damn what anyone thinks!
No worries of fitting in
Proud of being me
Standing out from the crowd
Nothing to prove
No need approval
Done with negative self talk
Feeling good about myself
Knowing I’m beautiful just as I am!
So much love and gratitude inside
Taking a deep breath
Letting go once and for all!